We serve a broad range of clients - businesses, governments, and private clients based locally, nationally, and internationally; plaintiffs and defendants, buyers and sellers, lenders and borrowers - in the following practice areas:
Bill Hangley sent the following email around the firm, and one attorney did not miss the chance to tease some new associates. Bill’s message:
From: Hangley, William T.
Subject: EAGLES/COWBOYS: MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
We have four tickets available. You know the procedure.
and the other attorney’s joke:
Subject: FW: EAGLES/COWBOYS: MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
As brand-new associates, you may not be familiar with the ritual known as “the procedure.” Here it is:
When one of these emails circulates, run as quickly as you can to Bill Hangley’s office. Once there, you should perform a cheer (of your own composition) that includes the words “Eagles,” “HASPS,” and “Ampersand.”
Tickets are awarded based on promptness, volume, and creativity in cheer lyrics. Bonus points for costumes and acrobatics. Group presentations are permitted, up to the number of available tickets.
If Bill Hangley is not in his office, feel free to perform “the procedure” for Kathy Boyle, Bill’s secretary, who is also authorized to judge Hangley Aronchick cheers. If Bill Hangley is in a meeting, taking a deposition or on the phone, you’re in luck: go right in and perform your cheer. Because we at Hangley Aronchick feel that it is important to share our offbeat, charming ways with those outside the firm, bonus points are also awarded based on the number of firm outsiders who are present to witness your cheer.
PS: I understand that the Eagles/Cowboys tickets have already been claimed. Therefore, it is too late for you to get your tickets this time. There will be more tickets, however, so you can start working on your cheers now. For inspiration, be sure to ask others in the firm for their best “procedure stories.”
EDITOR’S NOTE: UPDATE!
It turns out that the joke was on that other attorney. A marketing representative from another major Philadelphia sports team perused our website, found the above entry, and concluded that she must be the person responsible at the firm for season ticket purchases. She can’t get rid of him.
Bill Hangley, sent the following message around the office:
A friend of mine, Al, sent me a couple of excerpts from a book of translations of ancient legal documents. Al thought I’d be particularly interested in the Formula of Excommunication of Animals. (Locusts and caterpillars are enjoined to leave the vineyards within six days, upon failure of which “we excommunicate them through this document and curse them by the same.”) I was more impressed with a certain contract provision, circa 988 A.D. I think we should incorporate it in all agreements we write:
“Now if anyone shall think to infringe on this deed of gift or bring a false action against it, may he be seized with jaundice and smitten with blindness; may he bring his present life to a miserable ending by the most wretched death and undergo everlasting damnation with the devil, where bound with red-hot chains, may he groan for ever and ever, and may the worm that never dies feed on his flesh, and the fire that cannot be quenched he his food and sustenance eternally.”
So much for your limp little liquidated damages or equitable relief clauses.
Although being a trial lawyer is Bill Hangley’s passion, it is certainly not the first career that he has had. He taught music to elementary school children. He still has a great love for music and sings himself. He also had an unsuccessful run for state senate. Since then, he swore off politics and succumbed to a life at law.
Early in his career…really early… Bill was a Good Humor Ice Cream Man and sometimes even suggests that he is as mellow as he appears in the accompanying photo. However, there are countless witnesses and deponents who have sat through a withering Bill Hangley cross-examination who will testify he ain’t no Mister Softee.
When she joined the firm, former college softball player Bonnie Hoffman reconstituted the Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller softball team.
Since then, season after season, many attorneys, paralegals, and staff have come out to enjoy some fun in the sun (and pizza) and compete against other firms. “Team &” may not have won the championship (yet), but there have been plenty of laughs and tons of excitement. Matt Klebanoff served as chief organizer most recently.
In the past, the firm’s Executive Committee met weekly. David Pudlin generally dictated the minutes, and they were typed by his secretary, Maria Seamans. Maria circulated the memo below.
Re: EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MINUTES
1. The Executive Committee agreed that the firm should have a HASP Book Club. All employees are required to read the book selected by the newly formed Book Selection Committee. The first selection is Nancy Friday’s My Mother, My Self: The Daughter’s Search for Identity. Although this is a firm-sponsored project, the firm will not reimburse employees for their purchase of the book; that would cheapen the experience. The book discussion will take place at the Friday Lunch on July 29.
2. The Executive Committee does not approve of clichés, however it agreed that David Pudlin is a “people person.”
3. The Executive Committee agreed to hold a cow-naming contest. The winner will be selected by the newly formed Cow Naming Committee, consisting of HEH and DMS, and the announcement will be made after the book club discussion on the 29th. The winner receives a box of Omaha Steaks.
4. The Executive Committee discussed whether anyone actually reads the minutes. Maria Seamans had a good idea for a test.