Suggestions For Improving Our Practice

Bill Hangley sent the following message around the office:

A friend of mine, Al, sent me a couple of excerpts from a book of translations of ancient legal documents. Al thought I’d be particularly interested in the Formula of Excommunication of Animals. (Locusts and caterpillars are enjoined to leave the vineyards within six days, upon failure of which “we excommunicate them through this document and curse them by the same.”) I was more impressed with a certain contract provision, circa 988 A.D. I think we should incorporate it in all agreements we write:

“Now if anyone shall think to infringe on this deed of gift or bring a false action against it, may he be seized with jaundice and smitten with blindness; may he bring his present life to a miserable ending by the most wretched death and undergo everlasting damnation with the devil, where bound with red-hot chains, may he groan for ever and ever, and may the worm that never dies feed on his flesh, and the fire that cannot be quenched he his food and sustenance eternally.”

So much for your limp little liquidated damages or equitable relief clauses.

Practicing Law Takes Good Humor

Although being a trial lawyer is Bill Hangley’s passion, it is certainly not the first career that he has had. He taught music to elementary school children. He still has a great love for music and sings himself. He also had an unsuccessful run for state senate. Since then, he swore off politics and succumbed to a life at law.

Early in his career…really early… Bill was a Good Humor Ice Cream Man and sometimes even suggests that he is as mellow as he appears in the accompanying photo. However, there are countless witnesses and deponents who have sat through a withering Bill Hangley cross-examination who will testify he ain’t no Mister Softee.

Team Ampersand

When she joined the firm, former college softball player Bonnie Hoffman reconstituted the Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller softball team.

Since then, season after season, many attorneys, paralegals, and staff have come out to enjoy some fun in the sun (and pizza) and compete against other firms. “Team &” may not have won the championship (yet), but there have been plenty of laughs and tons of excitement.  Matt Klebanoff served as chief organizer most recently.

Executive Committee Meeting Minutes

In the past, the firm’s Executive Committee met weekly. David Pudlin generally dictated the minutes, and they were typed by his secretary, Maria Seamans. Maria circulated the memo below.

To: ATTORNEYS
From: DBP
Re: EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MINUTES

1. The Executive Committee agreed that the firm should have a HASP Book Club. All employees are required to read the book selected by the newly formed Book Selection Committee. The first selection is Nancy Friday’s My Mother, My Self: The Daughter’s Search for Identity. Although this is a firm-sponsored project, the firm will not reimburse employees for their purchase of the book; that would cheapen the experience. The book discussion will take place at the Friday Lunch on July 29.

2. The Executive Committee does not approve of clichés, however it agreed that David Pudlin is a “people person.”

3. The Executive Committee agreed to hold a cow-naming contest. The winner will be selected by the newly formed Cow Naming Committee, consisting of HEH and DMS, and the announcement will be made after the book club discussion on the 29th. The winner receives a box of Omaha Steaks.

4. The Executive Committee discussed whether anyone actually reads the minutes. Maria Seamans had a good idea for a test.